i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
