no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My vagina just clenched in fear
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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