Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
