it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize