Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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