that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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