I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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