Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
