; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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