You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
