i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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