I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
