you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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