i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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