There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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