i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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