where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My room smells like vodka and shame
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
