I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
