What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
