Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
