Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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