I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize