i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm too high and old for this...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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