I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
