Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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