Me. At least after what I've been through.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
