I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
