just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize