am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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