Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize