dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
