Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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