We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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