I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
