Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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