I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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