Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
