If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
