Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
