I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
