he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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