If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
