I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
