People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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