I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
