you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
