I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
