Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
