Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
