WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They took my balls.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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