i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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