He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize