The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Everything about him screamed your future.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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