Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
