you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
