Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
