would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he thought i was a dude.
this just has baby written all over it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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