maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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