she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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