The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
