woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
