I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
