I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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